TRACKLISTING
1. Judy (Wilds)
2. Spanish On The Beach
3. Jaywalker
4. Call
5. Television Blue
6. Green Glass
7. Wicked and Wild
8. Believe Me
9. Jeremy’s Wedding (Wilds)
CREDITS
A collection of 9 demos written and recorded by Andy Shauf between March and May of 2018.
All songs & 2021 Andy Shauf (SOCAN)
Published by Songs of the Mothership (ASCAP)
Mixing: Jonathan Anderson
Mastering: Philip Shaw Bova
Artwork: Andy Shauf
Photos: Colin Medley
Layout: Josh Daignault
BIOGRAPHY
Canadian musician Andy Shauf pens songs that explore universal truths through picaresque vignettes, from the colorful people-watching observations of 2016’s The Party to the tale of a failed relationship explained over one night at a local watering hole on last year’s The Neon Skyline. But Shauf has never exactly been held up as a confessional sort of songwriter, even though underneath the carefully plotted narratives and conceptual storylines, he’s always been writing about himself.
Wilds might change that. A collection of nine songs culled from around fifty tracks recorded by the prolific Shauf during the writing of The Neon Skyline and presented in a near-unfiltered form, the unstudied rawness of the songs on Wilds is a revealing look at Shauf’s mindset during the time he was writing Skyline—what he calls “a glimpse into the window of how chaotic things were”—as well as a peek into the creative process behind a proper Andy Shauf studio album, a snapshot of how the multi-instrumentalist first begins building his songs into more ornately arranged final products.
Though it’s not necessary to be familiar with The Neon Skyline to “get” Wilds, this new collection certainly can be interpreted as a companion piece to that record, a revisiting of the doomed lovers throughout various stages of their relationship. The songs are presented here in their most nascent shape; Shauf playing all the instruments, coming up with the arrangements on the fly, and recording it all himself to “a little tape machine” in his studio in Toronto.
For an artist known for his elaborate and at times symphonic musical arrangements, Wilds might seem like a left turn into tatty indie rock; full of lo-fi tape hiss, vocals that edge into the red, whispery drums, and an imperfect “in the room” feel. These are the songs in their purest form, untouched by overthinking or editing, with all imperfections left in. On many of the tracks, you’re hearing the sound of Shauf recording his ideas down as they happen, playing the tunes for the first time. “It was kind of like, if there's a spot and I come up with a part for it in the next hour, that's what it's going to be,” says Shauf. “They’re quick ideas and kind of quick sketches. The arrangements are really concise and there's not much decoration to it. Everything's just utility.”
All nine songs on Wilds were written and recorded closely together, during a period when Shauf became disenchanted with the idea of centering the Skyline narrative around one night at a bar. To shake off the writer’s block, he began experimenting with a different concept, penning songs about a woman named Judy. Shauf ultimately decided to return to his original plan, but the creative exercise was fundamental to what Skyline eventually became. “I felt like a little bit of freedom from the restrictions of The Skyline narrative. And the rest of the songs on this album were all written back-to-back, just sort of exploring this new idea of someone named Judy and exploring the past relationship,” he says. “But then I included that in The Skyline narrative.”
The paths converge on “Spanish on the Beach,” a song that could’ve slotted onto Skyline. Over gentle, jazzy guitar strums augmented with the wispiest of woodwinds, Shauf tells an empathetic, funny story of the couple’s time on an all-inclusive resort vacation, using the idea of a language barrier as a metaphor for the beginning stages of communication breakdown. It ends with the narrator envisioning an imagined scenario in which he proposes to Judy before bursting into song, musical theater-style, with the resort’s house band. “It’s the same theme as the story ended up being at the Skyline but the narrator's life is a little bit booze-fueled,” says Shauf on the song. “And this vacation is kind of like the first stop on the way to destruction.”
If The Neon Skyline takes place post-destruction, Wilds exists somewhere at the crossroads, a nebulous realm where things could go either way—and that goes just as much for Shauf, personally, as for his characters. Though Skyline isn’t exactly a love letter to alcohol, it is about a bar and features a protagonist who is probably spending a little too much time there. Putting together Wilds coincided with some realizations Shauf experienced about his own relationship to alcohol. “When you look back at something that you've written, it’s so much clearer with some distance where you were,” admits Shauf. “It was kind of shocking how clear it was—that the way that I was living was not ideal.”
If Wilds was a revelation to Shauf, it’s also a revelation for listeners. Hearing his songs pared back to the sparest of parts reveals not only how good a songwriter Shauf really is, but also how affectingly personal his songs are when his songs are unlatched from the mise en scène of a conceptual storyline. Take “Jaywalker,” a loping ballad that nominally tells the tale of a person not looking where he’s going while crossing the street and, by song’s end, waking up alone in a hospital with a dream of Judy driving a car, and no idea what the hell happened. But peer a bit deeper and you’ll find that Shauf is exploring a far more existential theme: the experience of the lost soul meandering through life (“Hanging around town never looked good on you”), the low-level level depression so common as to be invisible to everyone around (“All of your friends started wondering why/ You were choking back tears at an easy goodbye”) and the ways, both good and bad, that life can broadside you when you least expect it. “It was kind of me thinking of myself and feeling like I was walking blind a little bit,” says Shauf. “This guy's walking across the street looking at his feet and just getting hit by a car. That's kind of how I was living.”
Ultimately Wilds is not only another spin on the barstool at the Skyline—this time a bit wiser, with a little more clarity, maybe with a seltzer rather than a beer—but a standalone chapter in Shauf’s own artistic narrative. The organic nature of the songs and the imperfect quality of the recordings make the stories they tell feel truer to life as it’s experienced in the moment rather than via carefully edited words on a page or through the golden, unreliable haze of memory (or booze.) For his part, Shauf loves the scrappiness of the songs, the roughness of the sound. “I think it's really cool that these are quick and they're not perfect. I think it just suits the songs really well,” he says. Quick and not perfect—just like life.
Bio by Mariana Timony
JUDY
Judy and me, every week, buy a ticket for the Wednesday night lottery. She picks the numbers, I pick it up.
Would it feel different if I was holding the winning one? What would you buy? I’d buy a ticket for the Thursday night and try to win twice.
Judy and me, every week, drink at the bar until the numbers are released. I want to pick them one week, but I know that’d be the week that they pick her numbers. What would you buy? I’d buy a ticket for the Thursday night and try to win twice.
Judy and me, every time, get our hopes up a little too high. Judy and me, squint our eyes to read the numbers and say maybe next time. What would you buy? I’d buy a ticket for the Thursday night and try to win twice.
SPANISH ON THE BEACH
You spoke in Spanish on the beach, I tried to make up my mind whether I could understand a word you said. You took my hand and we walked out, I forgot to lock the door, you stood waiting in a long dark dress. I wished it could be permanent.
I feel glamorous, do you? With my shoes taking shots - oh that sound of authority. You speak in Spanish and I turn to watch the musicians play, standing straight with their smiling eyes. I wished it could be permanent.
I wondered what you would have done if I had bought the ring and decided to go down on one knee and in an operatic voice I would start singing with the band it would be so mortifying - it makes me laugh. I wished it could be permanent.
On the last day we were there you said you wished we could stay, boarded the plane and everything changed. I wished it could be permanent.
JAYWALKER
All of your friends started wondering why you were choking back tears at an easy goodbye. Everything started feeling urgent today, when you open your mouth you have nothing to say. Jaywalker with your head hung low, you never saw it coming.
Moving your lips like you’re wanting to smile, everything that you love always goes out of style. Took a good chance on a triumph or two, hangin’ around town never looked good on you. Jaywalker with your head hung low, you never saw it coming.
It’s been a few years, you can barely recall why the things that you said have you feeling so small. Thirty-one years, now you’re up on your feet, staring down and your shoes as you’re crossing the street. Jaywalker with your head hung low, you never saw it coming.
Woke up confused in a hospital gown with your arm in a sling and nobody around. Dreamed about Judy, she was driving a car. You were crossing the street, didn’t get very far. Jaywalker with your head hung low, you never saw it coming.
CALL
I want to hear your voice call down the empty street telling me to wait up, telling me anything. I just want to hear your voice call down the empty street telling me you miss me, just telling me anything. Hold me underwater, let me soak it in. Do you want to hear anything I say?I want to hear your voice call, waking me instead of telling me the difference between living in my head and living in the present. I thought everyone knew that it’s not always easy knowing what to do. Hold me underwater, let me soak it in. Do you want to hear anything I say?
I want to hear your voice call down the empty street waking all the cars up, waking all the people. I just want to hear your voice call any time of day. Now I’m swerving on the sidewalk but I know you’ll be okay. Hold me underwater, let me soak it in. Do you want to hear anything I say?
THINGS I DO
Seems like I should have known better than to turn my head like it didn't matter. Why do I do the things I do when I know I am losing you?
It was supposed to be a surprise, me showing up, you thought I was working. Why do I do the things I do when I know I am losing you?
Thought you'd be happy to see me but you said, “What the hell are you doing here?” Why do I do the things I do when I know I am losing you?
You pushed me away from him. He said “Buddy calm down,” you were so embarrassed. Seems like I should have known better than to turn my head like it didn't matter. Why do I do the things I do when I know I am losing you?
TELEVISION BLUE
Up to the surface, cold and blue, I look over at her. Sweater on, suntan glowing - she says ‘maybe we should go’ and I nod my head, feeling the rain in my hair.
Wind picks up, throws me a towel. Up the stairs, my feet wet. Fluorescent lights, suntan glowing - she says ‘I’m glad we did this’ and I nod my head, feeling the rain in her hair.
Television blue ‘til three in the morning. Was she talking to me?
Eyes wide open, pitch dark - unsure of what to do, I nod my head. Dreaming of rain in my hair.
Judy takes a sip, says ‘I remember we stole bug spray. Out of money, blue motel, you told me to go to hell.’
I nod my head. ‘But remember the rain in your hair?’
GREEN GLASS
One in the morning baby, will I disappear? Do you have the money - are we getting out of here? Tuesday’s for nothing baby. What’s your Wednesday like? Everything looks better when you’re in a different light. Look through the green glass for me, will you?
One in the morning baby, two by noon, isn’t it romantic? Maybe I’ll be leaving soon. Like it doesn’t matter baby - coffee for two. I already told you I would be coming home soon. Look through the green glass for me, will you?
Great American sitcom pauses, commercial break. Nothing really matters, can I do another take? Great American sitcom resumes, takes home the laugh. Everything feels better when I’m thumbing through the past. Look through the green glass for me, will you?
Two in the morning baby, three by noon, isn’t it romantic? Maybe we could go home soon. Step into static charge, I can’t leave the room! It would feel better if I was telling you the truth. Look through the green glass for me, will you?
WICKED AND WILD
One bad attitude stomping out a smile, breathing cigarette smoke like a grownup child. One goes unspoken, the other won’t kill. This kind of logic’s got me feeling ill. The wicked and wild in me.
So hungover, you don’t know why. Wonder if you left without paying or saying goodnight. One bad memory blurred round the sides, was it something you said making you want to die? The wicked and wild in me.
Two sides of one coin go spinning round, wondering which side’s gonna hit the ground. One big fight out in the cold trying to fall asleep in the wind and the snow. The wicked and wild in me.
Getting all wasted and running your mouth, revealing yourself to be way out of touch. One bad attitude blaming goodbyes, but playing the victim is getting so tired. The wicked and wild in me.
BELIEVE ME
‘Marry me’ bounces off the walls. I can’t seem to make it stop, maybe I don’t want to. ‘Marry me.’. Did she kneel down? I didn’t see it coming. Oh believer, believe me.
We were in an argument. It felt like the front door blew open, to me anyways. She said, ‘I think I should go’ and I haven’t seen her since that afternoon. Oh believer, believe me.
‘Marry me’ rattles in my head. I told her it would never work. I said, ‘Just look at us now.’ Oh believer, believe me.
JEREMY’S WEDDING
It was so nice. I thought the bridesmaids looked beautiful. Jeremy’s suit was a little stiff, but that’s how it goes, Judy.
Why didn’t you come say hello in the receiving line? I think he would’ve liked to have said ‘hi’ and ‘you look nice,’ Judy.
Part of me misses you almost all of the time. You say out of sight, out of mind. I disagree, Judy.
Smoke a joint on the side stairs. It is so nice. You ask me if I want to dance, oh it makes me laugh, Judy.
Skip a step, land on your toe, you make a face. You forgot I was so bad at this and I’m so stoned and it makes you laugh and it’s all okay, Judy, and it makes you laugh. Is it all okay, Judy?
SATAN (JAPANESE BONUS TRACK)
Don't watch yourself, watch the movie
This only happens for a little while
Because Satan is waiting
Satan is waiting with Halloween candy
All of the best parts make you sorry
All of the worst parts make you strong
And Satan is waiting
Satan is waiting with Halloween candy
One long disciplined life and at the end
I'm taking my shoes off and jumping on in
One invitation, one bite-sized bar
Would you like to come swimming in a big lake of fire?
