It’s hard to believe it’s been ten years since the release of The Party.

It honestly feels like it’s been longer than that, but I suppose it was a long road to the finished record. I’ve been struggling with writing something for this tenth anniversary that isn’t overly critical of my past-self. I often struggle to know how much context is needed for something to be clearly understood, but with this, I’ve come to think that maybe self-criticism is necessary when talking about this record that’s essentially a study of shame.

A friend recently suggested that celebrating our victories is healthy. It struck me that I’ve avoided these celebrations as if they were self-indulgent rather than healthy gratitude, which I guess makes sense, considering the record I made about a party contains no celebration.

The Party was written when I was in my mid-twenties and was released a few days before I turned twenty-nine. This time feels like a lost period for me. I was on the road in North America and Europe consistently, ‘partying’ a lot, letting alcohol lead me to experiences I thought necessary for having something to write about. My dream of becoming a touring musician and recording artist was starting to play out, but I avoided acknowledging that reality out of fear that it would vanish. It’s clearer now that this avoidance moreso gave me an inability to see myself as the destructive force at the center of the chaos beginning to surround me.

The Party didn’t happen because I knew what I was doing, it happened because I kept making mistakes. Four years of trying and trying again until eventually the happy accidents added up to something cohesive. It was a process of learning, like anything is. If I’d taken the same revisionist approach to my real life, maybe the lost period wouldn’t have stretched out for so long. Mistakes made in songs led to new arrangements and new approaches, mistakes in life led to more and more confusion and hurt. Thankfully life has allowed me the time to learn that I was simply lucky to have been given the chance to explore at all.

I remember some of the interviews I did after the record came out. The questions were about characters, my life, the inspiration behind it. People wanted to know if it was about my life, my friends, my problems, or whether I had a drinking problem. I struggled to give context, never feeling able to fully explain or be understood. Now that I’m almost forty it’s clear to me that maybe any truth that managed to sneak its way into the songs came from my inability to be honest with myself about who or what I was writing about.

I’m grateful that I persisted down the path that led to The Party, but its complication lies in how persistent I was with repeating mistakes in my personal life. There were so many patient friends involved in the making of the record. Jon Bartlett, Josh Daignault, Avery Kissick, Meghan Fenske, and many more supported me along the way. The strings were arranged by Colin Nealis and myself. The record would not sound the way that it does without Colin’s efforts. In my arrogance I made the choice of crediting Colin as having only ‘played’ the strings and I’m relieved to finally be able to correct my error with this new pressing. 

To celebrate ten years of The Party, we’re releasing a few songs bundled as ‘the afterparty’. It’s a collection of alternate versions of songs along with a few that didn’t make the record. There were many that didn’t make the cut, but these ones came closest to the finish line. ‘Angela the Traveller’ was an early song about a love interest travelling to France. It didn’t quite fit the theme, but it was a favourite of mine that we played on a few tours. ‘Losing’ is another early one, overly dramatic about alcohol and regret. That song received synths, strings, and bongos at our sessions in Germany before I shelved all the sessions to start fresh at Studio One in Regina, where the record was eventually finished.

I’m thankful for The Party. I’m thankful for these mistakes that have allowed me to learn and revise and grow. I’m thankful that there are people out there who want to attend a party that celebrates the difficult road of trying to better understand ourselves.

– Andy Shauf

Photos By Chris Graham