Don't watch yourself, watch the movie This only happens for a little while Because Satan is waiting Satan is waiting with Halloween candy
All of the best parts make you sorry
All of the worst parts make you strong And Satan is waiting
Satan is waiting with Halloween candy One long disciplined life and at the end
I'm taking my shoes off and jumping on in
One invitation, one bite-sized bar
Would you like to come swimming in a big lake of fire?
1. Judy (Wilds)
2. Spanish On The Beach
3. Jaywalker
4. Call
5. Television Blue
6. Green Glass
7. Wicked and Wild
8. Believe Me
9. Jeremy’s Wedding (Wilds)
A collection of 9 demos written and recorded by Andy Shauf between March and May of 2018.
All songs & 2021 Andy Shauf (SOCAN)
Published by Songs of the Mothership (ASCAP)
Mixing: Jonathan Anderson
Mastering: Philip Shaw Bova
Artwork: Andy Shauf
Photos: Colin Medley
Layout: Josh Daignault
Canadian musician Andy Shauf pens songs that explore universal truths through picaresque vignettes, from the colorful people-watching observations of 2016’s The Party to the tale of a failed relationship explained over one night at a local watering hole on last year’s The Neon Skyline. But Shauf has never exactly been held up as a confessional sort of songwriter, even though underneath the carefully plotted narratives and conceptual storylines, he’s always been writing about himself.
Wilds might change that. A collection of nine songs culled from around fifty tracks recorded by the prolific Shauf during the writing of The Neon Skyline and presented in a near-unfiltered form, the unstudied rawness of the songs on Wilds is a revealing look at Shauf’s mindset during the time he was writing Skyline—what he calls “a glimpse into the window of how chaotic things were”—as well as a peek into the creative process behind a proper Andy Shauf studio album, a snapshot of how the multi-instrumentalist first begins building his songs into more ornately arranged final products.
Though it’s not necessary to be familiar with The Neon Skyline to “get” Wilds, this new collection certainly can be interpreted as a companion piece to that record, a revisiting of the doomed lovers throughout various stages of their relationship. The songs are presented here in their most nascent shape; Shauf playing all the instruments, coming up with the arrangements on the fly, and recording it all himself to “a little tape machine” in his studio in Toronto.
For an artist known for his elaborate and at times symphonic musical arrangements, Wilds might seem like a left turn into tatty indie rock; full of lo-fi tape hiss, vocals that edge into the red, whispery drums, and an imperfect “in the room” feel. These are the songs in their purest form, untouched by overthinking or editing, with all imperfections left in. On many of the tracks, you’re hearing the sound of Shauf recording his ideas down as they happen, playing the tunes for the first time. “It was kind of like, if there's a spot and I come up with a part for it in the next hour, that's what it's going to be,” says Shauf. “They’re quick ideas and kind of quick sketches. The arrangements are really concise and there's not much decoration to it. Everything's just utility.”
All nine songs on Wilds were written and recorded closely together, during a period when Shauf became disenchanted with the idea of centering the Skyline narrative around one night at a bar. To shake off the writer’s block, he began experimenting with a different concept, penning songs about a woman named Judy. Shauf ultimately decided to return to his original plan, but the creative exercise was fundamental to what Skyline eventually became. “I felt like a little bit of freedom from the restrictions of The Skyline narrative. And the rest of the songs on this album were all written back-to-back, just sort of exploring this new idea of someone named Judy and exploring the past relationship,” he says. “But then I included that in The Skyline narrative.”
The paths converge on “Spanish on the Beach,” a song that could’ve slotted onto Skyline. Over gentle, jazzy guitar strums augmented with the wispiest of woodwinds, Shauf tells an empathetic, funny story of the couple’s time on an all-inclusive resort vacation, using the idea of a language barrier as a metaphor for the beginning stages of communication breakdown. It ends with the narrator envisioning an imagined scenario in which he proposes to Judy before bursting into song, musical theater-style, with the resort’s house band. “It’s the same theme as the story ended up being at the Skyline but the narrator's life is a little bit booze-fueled,” says Shauf on the song. “And this vacation is kind of like the first stop on the way to destruction.”
If The Neon Skyline takes place post-destruction, Wilds exists somewhere at the crossroads, a nebulous realm where things could go either way—and that goes just as much for Shauf, personally, as for his characters. Though Skyline isn’t exactly a love letter to alcohol, it is about a bar and features a protagonist who is probably spending a little too much time there. Putting together Wilds coincided with some realizations Shauf experienced about his own relationship to alcohol. “When you look back at something that you've written, it’s so much clearer with some distance where you were,” admits Shauf. “It was kind of shocking how clear it was—that the way that I was living was not ideal.”
If Wilds was a revelation to Shauf, it’s also a revelation for listeners. Hearing his songs pared back to the sparest of parts reveals not only how good a songwriter Shauf really is, but also how affectingly personal his songs are when his songs are unlatched from the mise en scène of a conceptual storyline. Take “Jaywalker,” a loping ballad that nominally tells the tale of a person not looking where he’s going while crossing the street and, by song’s end, waking up alone in a hospital with a dream of Judy driving a car, and no idea what the hell happened. But peer a bit deeper and you’ll find that Shauf is exploring a far more existential theme: the experience of the lost soul meandering through life (“Hanging around town never looked good on you”), the low-level level depression so common as to be invisible to everyone around (“All of your friends started wondering why/ You were choking back tears at an easy goodbye”) and the ways, both good and bad, that life can broadside you when you least expect it. “It was kind of me thinking of myself and feeling like I was walking blind a little bit,” says Shauf. “This guy's walking across the street looking at his feet and just getting hit by a car. That's kind of how I was living.”
Ultimately Wilds is not only another spin on the barstool at the Skyline—this time a bit wiser, with a little more clarity, maybe with a seltzer rather than a beer—but a standalone chapter in Shauf’s own artistic narrative. The organic nature of the songs and the imperfect quality of the recordings make the stories they tell feel truer to life as it’s experienced in the moment rather than via carefully edited words on a page or through the golden, unreliable haze of memory (or booze.) For his part, Shauf loves the scrappiness of the songs, the roughness of the sound. “I think it's really cool that these are quick and they're not perfect. I think it just suits the songs really well,” he says. Quick and not perfect—just like life.
Bio by Mariana Timony
Judy and me, every week, buy a ticket for the Wednesday night lottery. She picks the numbers, I pick it up.
Would it feel different if I was holding the winning one? What would you buy? I’d buy a ticket for the Thursday night and try to win twice.
Judy and me, every week, drink at the bar until the numbers are released. I want to pick them one week, but I know that’d be the week that they pick her numbers. What would you buy? I’d buy a ticket for the Thursday night and try to win twice.
Judy and me, every time, get our hopes up a little too high. Judy and me, squint our eyes to read the numbers and say maybe next time. What would you buy? I’d buy a ticket for the Thursday night and try to win twice.
You spoke in Spanish on the beach, I tried to make up my mind whether I could understand a word you said. You took my hand and we walked out, I forgot to lock the door, you stood waiting in a long dark dress. I wished it could be permanent.
I feel glamorous, do you? With my shoes taking shots - oh that sound of authority. You speak in Spanish and I turn to watch the musicians play, standing straight with their smiling eyes. I wished it could be permanent.
I wondered what you would have done if I had bought the ring and decided to go down on one knee and in an operatic voice I would start singing with the band it would be so mortifying - it makes me laugh. I wished it could be permanent.
On the last day we were there you said you wished we could stay, boarded the plane and everything changed. I wished it could be permanent.
All of your friends started wondering why you were choking back tears at an easy goodbye. Everything started feeling urgent today, when you open your mouth you have nothing to say. Jaywalker with your head hung low, you never saw it coming.
Moving your lips like you’re wanting to smile, everything that you love always goes out of style. Took a good chance on a triumph or two, hangin’ around town never looked good on you. Jaywalker with your head hung low, you never saw it coming.
It’s been a few years, you can barely recall why the things that you said have you feeling so small. Thirty-one years, now you’re up on your feet, staring down and your shoes as you’re crossing the street. Jaywalker with your head hung low, you never saw it coming.
Woke up confused in a hospital gown with your arm in a sling and nobody around. Dreamed about Judy, she was driving a car. You were crossing the street, didn’t get very far. Jaywalker with your head hung low, you never saw it coming.
I want to hear your voice call down the empty street telling me to wait up, telling me anything. I just want to hear your voice call down the empty street telling me you miss me, just telling me anything. Hold me underwater, let me soak it in. Do you want to hear anything I say?I want to hear your voice call, waking me instead of telling me the difference between living in my head and living in the present. I thought everyone knew that it’s not always easy knowing what to do. Hold me underwater, let me soak it in. Do you want to hear anything I say?
I want to hear your voice call down the empty street waking all the cars up, waking all the people. I just want to hear your voice call any time of day. Now I’m swerving on the sidewalk but I know you’ll be okay. Hold me underwater, let me soak it in. Do you want to hear anything I say?
Seems like I should have known better than to turn my head like it didn't matter. Why do I do the things I do when I know I am losing you?
It was supposed to be a surprise, me showing up, you thought I was working. Why do I do the things I do when I know I am losing you?
Thought you'd be happy to see me but you said, “What the hell are you doing here?” Why do I do the things I do when I know I am losing you?
You pushed me away from him. He said “Buddy calm down,” you were so embarrassed. Seems like I should have known better than to turn my head like it didn't matter. Why do I do the things I do when I know I am losing you?
Up to the surface, cold and blue, I look over at her. Sweater on, suntan glowing - she says ‘maybe we should go’ and I nod my head, feeling the rain in my hair.
Wind picks up, throws me a towel. Up the stairs, my feet wet. Fluorescent lights, suntan glowing - she says ‘I’m glad we did this’ and I nod my head, feeling the rain in her hair.
Television blue ‘til three in the morning. Was she talking to me?
Eyes wide open, pitch dark - unsure of what to do, I nod my head. Dreaming of rain in my hair.
Judy takes a sip, says ‘I remember we stole bug spray. Out of money, blue motel, you told me to go to hell.’
I nod my head. ‘But remember the rain in your hair?’
One in the morning baby, will I disappear? Do you have the money - are we getting out of here? Tuesday’s for nothing baby. What’s your Wednesday like? Everything looks better when you’re in a different light. Look through the green glass for me, will you?
One in the morning baby, two by noon, isn’t it romantic? Maybe I’ll be leaving soon. Like it doesn’t matter baby - coffee for two. I already told you I would be coming home soon. Look through the green glass for me, will you?
Great American sitcom pauses, commercial break. Nothing really matters, can I do another take? Great American sitcom resumes, takes home the laugh. Everything feels better when I’m thumbing through the past. Look through the green glass for me, will you?
Two in the morning baby, three by noon, isn’t it romantic? Maybe we could go home soon. Step into static charge, I can’t leave the room! It would feel better if I was telling you the truth. Look through the green glass for me, will you?
One bad attitude stomping out a smile, breathing cigarette smoke like a grownup child. One goes unspoken, the other won’t kill. This kind of logic’s got me feeling ill. The wicked and wild in me.
So hungover, you don’t know why. Wonder if you left without paying or saying goodnight. One bad memory blurred round the sides, was it something you said making you want to die? The wicked and wild in me.
Two sides of one coin go spinning round, wondering which side’s gonna hit the ground. One big fight out in the cold trying to fall asleep in the wind and the snow. The wicked and wild in me.
Getting all wasted and running your mouth, revealing yourself to be way out of touch. One bad attitude blaming goodbyes, but playing the victim is getting so tired. The wicked and wild in me.
‘Marry me’ bounces off the walls. I can’t seem to make it stop, maybe I don’t want to. ‘Marry me.’. Did she kneel down? I didn’t see it coming. Oh believer, believe me.
We were in an argument. It felt like the front door blew open, to me anyways. She said, ‘I think I should go’ and I haven’t seen her since that afternoon. Oh believer, believe me.
‘Marry me’ rattles in my head. I told her it would never work. I said, ‘Just look at us now.’ Oh believer, believe me.
It was so nice. I thought the bridesmaids looked beautiful. Jeremy’s suit was a little stiff, but that’s how it goes, Judy.
Why didn’t you come say hello in the receiving line? I think he would’ve liked to have said ‘hi’ and ‘you look nice,’ Judy.
Part of me misses you almost all of the time. You say out of sight, out of mind. I disagree, Judy.
Smoke a joint on the side stairs. It is so nice. You ask me if I want to dance, oh it makes me laugh, Judy.
Skip a step, land on your toe, you make a face. You forgot I was so bad at this and I’m so stoned and it makes you laugh and it’s all okay, Judy, and it makes you laugh. Is it all okay, Judy?
Don't watch yourself, watch the movie
This only happens for a little while
Because Satan is waiting
Satan is waiting with Halloween candy
All of the best parts make you sorry
All of the worst parts make you strong
And Satan is waiting
Satan is waiting with Halloween candy
One long disciplined life and at the end
I'm taking my shoes off and jumping on in
One invitation, one bite-sized bar
Would you like to come swimming in a big lake of fire?
01. Neon Skyline
02. Where Are You Judy
03. Clove Cigarette
04. Thirteen Hours
05. Things I Do
06. Living Room
07. Dust Kids
08. The Moon
09. Try Again
10. Fire Truck
11. Changer
Written, performed, arranged and produced by Andy Shauf
Mixed by Rob Schnapf at Mant Sounds; Assisted by Matt Schuessler.
Mastered by Philip Shaw Bova at Bova Labs.
Art by Meghan Fenske
Photo by Colin Medley
Layout by Mat Dunlap
Thanks to AEA Ribbon Mics and Preamps, Waterloo Guitars, Fender, Sennheiser, Roland, Boss, C&C Drums & iZotope.
Few artists are storytellers as deft and disarmingly observational as Andy Shauf. The Toronto-based, Saskatchewan-raised musician's songs unfold like short fiction: they're densely layered with colorful characters and a rich emotional depth. On his new album The Neon Skyline (out January 24 via ANTI-), he sets a familiar scene of inviting a friend for beers on the opening title track: "I said, 'Come to the Skyline, I’ll be washing my sins away.' He just laughed, said 'I’ll be late, you know how I can be.'" The LP's 11 interconnected tracks follow a simple plot: the narrator goes to his neighborhood dive, finds out his ex is back in town, and she eventually shows up. While its overarching narrative is riveting, the real thrill of the album comes from how Shauf finds the humanity and humor in a typical night out and the ashes of a past relationship.
His last full-length 2016's The Party was an impressive collection of ornate and affecting songs that followed different attendees of a house party. Shauf's attention-to-detail in his writing evoked Randy Newman and his unorthodox, flowing lyrical phrasing recalled Joni Mitchell. Though that album was his breakthrough, his undeniable songwriting talent has been long evident. Raised in Bienfait, Saskatchewan, he cut his teeth in the nearby Regina music community. His 2012 LP The Bearer of Bad News documented his already-formed musical ambition and showcased Shauf's burgeoning voice as a narrative songwriter with songs like "Hometown Hero," "Wendell Walker," and "My Dear Helen" feeling like standalone, self-contained worlds. In 2018, his band Foxwarren, formed over 10 years ago with childhood friends, released a self-titled album where Pitchfork recognized how "Shauf has diligently refined his storytelling during the last decade.”
The Party earned a spot on the Polaris Music Prize 2016 shortlist and launched Shauf to an appearance on The Late Late Show with James Corden as well as glowing accolades from NPR, The Washington Post, The Guardian, and more. "That LP was a concept record and it really made me want to do a better album. I wanted to have a more cohesive story," says Shauf. Where the concept of The Party revealed itself midway through the writing process, he knew the story he wanted to tell on The Neon Skyline from the start. "I kept coming back to the same situation of one guy going to a bar, which was basically exactly what I was doing at the time. These songs are fictional but it's not too far off from where my life was," Shauf explains.
For The Neon Skyline, Shauf chose to start each composition on guitar instead of his usual piano. He says, "I wanted to be able to sit down and play each song with just a guitar without having to rely on some sort of a clever arrangement to make it whole." The resulting album finds its immediacy in simplicity. While the arrangements on folksy "The Moon" are unfussy and song-centered like the best Gordon Lightfoot offerings, his drive to experiment is still obvious. This is especially so on the unmoored relationship autopsy "Thirteen Hours," which boasts an arrangement that's both jazzy and adventurous.
Like he's done throughout his career, Shauf wrote, performed, arranged, and produced every song on The Neon Skyline, this time at his new studio space in the west end of Toronto. Happy accidents like Shauf testing out a new spring reverb pedal led to album cuts like the woozy closer "Changer" and experimenting with tape machines forced him to simplify how he'd arrange the tracks. Over the course of a year-and-a-half, Shauf ended up with almost 50 songs all about the same night at the bar. Though paring down his massive body of work to a single album's worth of material was a challenge for Shauf, the final tracklist is seamless and fully-formed.
As much as The Neon Skyline is about a normal night at a bar with friends and a bartender who knows exactly what you'll order before you sit down, the album is also about the painful processing of a lost love. Lead single "Things I Do" examines the dissolution of the narrator's past relationship. Over tense and jazz-minded instrumentation, Shauf sings, "Seems like I should have known better than to turn my head like it didn't matter. Why do I do the things I do when I know I am losing you?" He explains, "a lot of this record is a breakup record. I haven't had a breakup in a long time, but a lot of relationships have had one of those nights where one person shows up somewhere when they weren't supposed to and then picks a fight with their partner." Elsewhere, songs like "Clove Cigarette" explore the better times, honing in on a memory that "takes me back to your summer dress."
With any album about a lost love, the key ingredient is a generosity and kindness that can only come from a writer as empathic as Shauf. On the standout personality-filled single "Try Again," the narrator, his friends, and his ex find themselves at a new bar. The former lovers' reunion is awkwardly funny and even sweet, as he sings, "Somewhere between drunkenness and charity, she puts her hand on the sleeve of my coat. She says 'I’ve missed this.' I say “I know, I’ve missed you too.” She says, 'I was actually talking about your coat.'" It's a charming moment on a record filled with them. Shauf's characters are all sympathetic here, people who share countless inside jokes, shots, and life-or-death musings on things like reincarnation when the night gets hazy.
On top of heartbreak, friendship, and the mundane moments of humanity that define his songwriting, Shauf makes music that explores how easy it is to find yourself in familiar patterns and repeat the same mistakes of your past. His characters wonder, "Did this relationship end too soon? Would going to another bar cheer my friend up?" Or in the case of the foreboding "Living Room," where a character asks herself, "How hard is it to give a shit?" the songs on The Neon Skyline ultimately take solace in accepting that life goes on and things will be okay. Shauf says, "there's moments on the album where the characters are thinking 'this is the end of the world.' But there are also moments with some clarity and perspective: Nothing is the end of the world."
I called up Charlie about a quarter past nine and said, “What’s going on tonight?” He said, “No plans, but I wouldn’t mind holding a lighter head tonight.” I said, “Come to the Skyline, I’ll be washing my sins away.” He just laughed, said “I’ll be late, you know how I can be.”
I looked in my fridge, it was a dark scene so I buttered some bread. Chewed my way out the door and walked down the street to the neon skyline, I grabbed myself a stool at the bar. Oh somehow Rose always knows just exactly what I need.
She didn’t ask, she just opened a cold can and set it down in front of me. I said thanks and thought about how Judy used to come here with me. But I got so tired of her calling this our disease, ‘cause I’m just fine. Sometimes I need to clear my mind, you know how that can be.
Charlie walked in about a quarter past ten and I said “Greetings, old man.” He hung his coat on the wall and took the stool next to mine. He asked Rose for one glass of merlot and she laughed. Oh I’m just fine, I’m wasting time, sometimes there’s no better feeling than that.
Gentle mess, water falling from two eyes. You looked at me, said it would be alright. City lights dazzled you away from me. I think we both knew that's how that would be.
But now Charlie's in my left ear, blowing my mind again as he's saying “Did you know Judy's back in town?” “I guess I didn't hear about that. How long has she been here? I haven't seen her around.” I only miss her when the skies are above. Oh, where are you Judy?
A telephone rings and I wish it were mine with your voice on the other line, telling me that you were sick of everything. Like we could pick it all up again. Now I'm in my left ear telling you lies again.
Do I pretend that I know all the shit I did, and I know how I could fix it? I wish we could start again, I think you would understand. I only miss you when the skies are above, oh where are you Judy? If you were in my left ear talking so sweet again I would ask you “Where are you Judy?”
Rose is smoking a clove cigarette and it takes me back to your summer dress, and that green plastic table with those green plastic chairs. And you’d touch my summer skin and you’d toss your golden hair. It takes some steps forward and some steps back, oh it just doesn't matter ‘cause I'm on track.
On the sidewalk she turns her foot and I hold the door as she tiptoes through it. I'm getting foggy but I don't really care ‘cause I've no reason to be anywhere. It takes some steps forward and some steps back, oh it just doesn't matter ‘cause I'm on track.
Is this my family? Are these my friends? Oh it's not a problem, I just had other plans. That green plastic table with those green plastic chairs and you’d touch my summer skin and you’d toss your golden hair. It takes some steps forward and some steps back, oh it just doesn't matter ‘cause I'm on track.
Is it my fault that you never got home? If we'd taken the train, I guess you would’ve got home. I was so tired of lugging those bags around. We hopped in a cab, you were so excited to stretch out in bed, it was such a long flight. Thirteen hours of trying to fall asleep.
Judy and me crossing the street, she said, “What did you leave for the cabbie?” “That's such a bad tip.” She walked back to give him some more. I heard tires come screaming around the corner, some drunk asshole saying he was so sorry.
One broken hand, two bruised ribs, and one hospital gown.
“If you weren't such a cheap bastard I'd be at home.” “Oh, I'm not made of money, you should have left it alone.” As soon as I say it, she looks at me so surprised: “Of course it's your fault that I never got home.”
Seems like I should have known better than to turn my head like it didn't matter. Why do I do the things I do when I know I am losing you?
It was supposed to be a surprise, me showing up, you thought I was working. Why do I do the things I do when I know I am losing you?
Thought you'd be happy to see me but you said, “What the hell are you doing here?” Why do I do the things I do when I know I am losing you?
You pushed me away from him. He said “Buddy calm down,” you were so embarrassed. Seems like I should have known better than to turn my head like it didn't matter. Why do I do the things I do when I know I am losing you?
Claire stands beside us, she is ordering a drink, she says hello to us. Charlie says hi and asks about her boy, she says he’s fine and there’s a pause.
She says, “It’s funny that you ask, today I had a strange experience. I remembered once when I was a girl my father came home late from work. I'd drawn a picture for him in school that day and I wanted to show him. He said, ‘Go show it to your mother dear.’ But I’d drawn it just for him - just for him. Anyways, today my son came home from school and he had drawn a picture. But I was so tired from work, I told him I would have a look in a little while. I should have hung it on the fridge for him. I mean how hard is it to give a shit?”
Claire walked away and Charlie looked at me with wide eyes, like we had accidentally walked into some stranger's living room.
Charlie asks me if I believe in reincarnation. I say “No, but please go on.” He says “I was reading about these kids, they're like two years old, recalling their past lives. Could you imagine if that was your kid?” Rose asks if we want another, I say “I'll take another life.”
“Do they say what happens in between?” He says, “Some talk about heaven and watching from up above.” And I imagine sitting on that shelf, watching over you just waiting to be someone else. If I died and you died too, could we sit up in heaven and choose to live on together?
They say after you die you start drifting skyward and it reminds me of a dream I had where I was shot in a shopping mall. I died and started rising until I dove headfirst into the ground. I woke up and told Judy, she started laughing at me, just laughing in the morning light. Maybe hell is coming back as the dust that you sweep off the floor forevermore.
“Are you gonna mope all night?” I focus my eyes, I guess he’s probably right. “Did you drag me off of my couch so we could sit here in silence until we say goodnight?” He says, “We need a change of scene, let’s go to the bar around the corner where it’s always dark.” And as we’re putting our money down, Claire’s asking Charlie if we’re hitting the town. He says, “We’re making our way to the moon and we’re taking off soon.”
She says I’d be down for the moon but I didn’t bring my helmet, she catches me rolling my eyes. So I say I packed a spare. I don’t think it saves me but she doesn’t seem to care. She’s asking Rose for her bill and just as she’s paying Judy walks in the door, she’s giving Charlie a hug, she won’t look in my eyes but she asks where we’re going. He says “We’re making our way to the moon and we’re taking off soon.”
Judy laughs a little too hard. I didn’t think it was that funny the first time around. Claire asks if she’d like to join, she says that’d be nice and I don’t know what the hell's going on, but soon we’re walking the street. Charlie’s walking with Claire, Judy's walking with me. I say “I didn’t expect to see you.” She says, “To be honest I knew exactly where you’d be.” And I say “Making my way to the moon” and she laughs too soon.
That old feeling pours over me, reaches to the pit of my stomach so I reach for her hand. She pulls it away from me, she says “You know it can’t be like that. We’ll just make our way to the moon and I’ll see you soon.”
Somewhere between drunkenness and chivalry, I hold the door open and let her pass through. She says thanks to me in a British accent and I try to answer her in the same voice. She laughs at me, says “What was that supposed to be?” I say “I’m sorry, I’m from a different part of the country.” She says “Come on baby, try again.”
Somewhere between drunkenness and sincerity, I smile at her for just a little too long. Charlie’s drinking wine, Judy's laughing at him, she says “I forget that you’re such a fancy guy.” He tips his hat, says “M’lady, do you come here often?” I swear I’ve seen them do this one a couple times before. Come on baby, try again.
Somewhere between drunkenness and charity, she puts her hand on the sleeve of my coat. She says “I’ve missed this.” I say “I know, I’ve missed you too.” She says, “I was actually talking about your coat.” She makes me laugh, oh how she makes me laugh. I just let my head sink down and fake some deep sobs. Come on baby, try again.
Somewhere between drunkenness and jealousy, I watch her talking to some old friend. What a reunion, he recognized her across the room. How many years could there be to catch up on? And somewhere between drunkenness and honesty, I make a silent toast to the things that I do and don’t miss. Come on baby, try again.
A fire truck goes screaming by and it reminds me of that night when you said that you were coming home, then I waited up till four in the morning. She says, “I remember, and why the fuck would this be a good time to bring that up?” And I am silent, because I’m not sure. Sometimes I feel like I should never speak again. She takes my hand and says, “C’mon you know this one’s my favourite song.”
And I can see it in my mind, those flames reaching so high into the night, and that poor family standing on the front lawn watching. And for some reason, I remember that feeling being almost jealousy for a new beginning, but I should have known that I was already burning it to the ground. Now that I’m dancing in the ashes, I just want it to be whole.
And somehow with all that distraction, I still managed to pick a fight. When she got home, and all she had were questions about those flashing red lights. And now the song is ending, Judy’s leaving, and I’m getting one more right at last call. Claire orders three shots, Charlie raises his up and we tip our heads back before we say goodnight. Now that I’m standing in the ashes, I just want it to be whole. Now that I’m standing in the ashes, I can’t help but sing along.
If you didn’t notice it then, you won’t remember it now, but I met you with some friends, there was lightning in the sky. I tried to make a joke about angels and a disco. I got tongue tied and you all got fed up. Change on, changer.
I heard you’re back in town working at the drugstore. Did you get the city blues? Oh that I can relate to. Oh I can see it now, me telling you how I found my way back home, oh I’m already bored. Change on, changer.
01. To Be
02. Lost In A Dream
03. Everything Apart
04. In Another Life
05. I’ll Be Alright
06. Lost On You
07. Your Small Town
08. Sunset Canyon
09. Fall Into A Dream
10. Give It A Chance
Recorded by Foxwarren
Track 7 recorded by Rob Morrison and Foxwarren
Mixed by Jon Anderson
Mastered by Philip Shaw Bova
All songs written and arranged by Foxwarren
Photos by Chris Graham and Danielle Tocker
Layout and Graphic Design by Mat Dunlap
Foxwarren’s backstory reads like a page torn from the manual of rock & roll authenticity, as this group of siblings and childhood friends originally formed more than a decade ago. Growing up in scattered small towns across the Canadian prairies, Andy Shauf (guitars/keys/vocals), Dallas Bryson (guitar/vocals), and brothers Darryl Kissick (bass) and Avery Kissick (drums & percussion) eventually found themselves in Regina, Saskatchewan. The initial sessions for their self-titled debut began in the Kissicks’ parents’ farmhouse while they were away on vacation. Upon their return, Foxwarren were forced to relocate and recording resumed back in Regina in a rented house where the members lived as roommates. The band’s name comes from the Kissick brothers’ family home in Foxwarren, Manitoba.
Foxwarren initially bonded over Pedro the Lion and drew influence from The Band and Paul Simon. Now a decade in to the project, Shauf reflects on their debut release: “So much time and effort went into making this album; it’s something I think we’re all really proud of. My touring and recording schedule got pretty wild over the past three or four years, so it put the Foxwarren album on the backburner. Making the album was such an enjoyable time – the collaboration and frustration of it all. All of us trying to make something better than we previously had. I’m excited to get it out into the world and have other people listen to it. We’ve been a band for 10 years or so and never properly released an album, so this is special for the four of us.” The self-titled album will be released on November 30, 2018 via ANTI- Records.
The infectious first single “Everything Apart” is built around a robotic bass line and came together very quickly. “We wrote it late one night,” remembers Darryl, “Andy was home between tours, and the skeleton of the song came together really quickly. This one felt like a real experiment and was almost left off the album; it seemed like an outlier.”
In contrast, the second single “To Be” was one of the first songs written for the project. “We tinkered with it for ages and ended up drastically reworking it the weekend it was recorded. We knew early on that it was going to be the opening song on the record,” states Darryl.
“It was a guitar riff that I’d been playing for a few years at least, trying to figure out what to do with it,” adds Shauf. “It went through quite a few versions if I remember correctly. Foxwarren have a bad habit of never finishing vocal melodies and lyrics before we finish the music, so it made it a bit tricky and ended up being overhauled at the last minute.”
Subtle and thoughtful, it draws parallels to frontman Andy Shauf’s solo work while leaning on collaboration and looseness rather than Shauf’s meticulous arrangements. Where Shauf leaves space for orchestration, Foxwarren take time to ruminate on passages and themes. Propped up by warm driving rhythms and a familiar voice, and coloured with soft electronics and coarse guitars, it’s a record that ultimately hinges on sincerity. It captures the feeling of friends pushing each other, of a band looking inward for inspiration instead of outward for influence.
01. The Magician
02. Early To The Party
03. Twist Your Ankle
04. Quite Like You
05. Being Again
06. The Worst In You
07. To You
08. Eyes Of Them All
09. Alexander All Alone
10. Martha Sways
Songs written, performed, arranged and produced by Andy Shauf
Strings performed by Colin Nealis
Recorded by Andy Shauf at Studio One in Regina, Saskatchewan
Mixed by Noah Georgeson at Banner Mountain Studios in Los Angeles, California
Mastered by Philip Shaw Bova at Bova Lab in Ottawa, Ontario
Additional recording at Castle Röhrsdorf in Dresden, Germany
All songs published by Songs of the Mothership (ASCAP)
Illustrations by Meghan Fenske
Layout by Josh Daignault
Photos by Chris Graham
do you find it gets a little easier
each time you make it disappear?
oh fools the magician bends the rules
as the crowd watches his every move
just a shaking hand without a concrete plan
side steps to a death-defying feat
wait for him to reappear
look close, you’ll see him sweat the most
each time his options disappear
just a shaking hand without a concrete plan
just a shaking hand without a concrete plan
I’m a shaking hand without a plan
early to the party, you’re the first one there
overdressed and underprepared
standing in the kitchen, stressing out the host
pulling teeth ’til anyone arrives
excuse yourself and smoke a cigarette outside
there’s three new faces coming up the drive
exhale nervous greetings as they shuffle past
can’t he ever show up on time
bird on the wall
catcher calling all the shots
catcher tying you in knots
won’t let you leave
what happened to manners?
I guess he’s had a few
he’s talking shit, he never thinks of you
so bite your lip and watch him walk off with his friends
leaving you all alone once again
bird on the wall
catcher calling all the shots
catcher tying you in knots
won’t let you leave
last night, dancing slow in turning light
with you caught in my eye
well twist your ankle, leave my side
goodnight, I’m tossing in the towel again
go laugh with all your friends
oh I don’t really understand them
everybody’s laughing at me
just let me walk home
oh god, stumble over to the door
trashed and out of line
oh I don’t think the fault is all mine
last night, dancing slow in turning light
I watched you walk right by
well twist my ankle, stay by your side
everybody’s laughing at me
I can’t make a sound
everybody’s laughing at me
I wish I’d just stayed home
Jeremy’s so stoned
I’d be surprised if he saw the tears in Sherry’s eyes
she’s standing in the corner staring at the floor
I wonder what the hell he did this time?
normally I wouldn’t care to be so bold
tonight I think I’ll ask her what is wrong
she seems a bit embarrassed and I understand
I say “I wish that you were having a good time”
she says “you know I’ve never really met someone like you”
I’m not one to speak up but I’ve had a few
so I start cutting Jeremy right in two
I say “I don’t know what you see in him
it seems to me that all he ever does is bring you down”
I’m spilling my drink as I really start
tearing one of my best friends apart
she’s getting uneasy and my drunken speech ends
as my hand finds it’s way to hers
and I say “you know I’ve never really met someone like you”
Jeremy walks over
and to my surprise
Sherry puts her arm around his side
begin again
this time you should take a bow at the very end
it’s quite an act you put on
wait ’til the cameras roll
you’re the leading man
in a film where the end of the world
is decided by you, whenever you choose
oh from the sky a brilliant light will dissolve us all
begin again
and tell me all about the one that you love
and all about the other one
that you’ve got on the side
I don’t give a damn
about you fooling around behind Sherry’s back
it’s just the one that you found
is one that I need
oh from the sky a brilliant light will dissolve us all
listen to this half-wit
spilling his guts after a bottle of wine
thought this would be a good time
now I can’t finish my drink
let him laugh it off
‘hey, it’s a city the size of a dinner plate
it’s hard not to overlap
what could you expect?’
oh from the sky a brilliant light will dissolve us all
now I’m kicking leaves
cursing the one that I love and the one I don’t
I wonder who you’re thinking of
I stepped out the front door
went out into the night
took out a cigarette
then I felt for my light
in my front pockets it was nowhere to be found
I went back in the door
kicked off both of my shoes
looked around for your coat
and then went looking for you
thought that I heard your laughter stepping down the stairs
I walked carefully up
til I was almost half way
I saw two closed doors
so I let my heart break
are you running around or just running away?
why do I always find the worst in you?
do you always find the worst in me?
or do I only find the worst in you?
so I stood still for a while
trying to hear again
but then from the living room
I heard you calling my name
I found you smiling, asking me where I had been
oh why do I always seek the worst in you?
do you always seek the worst in me?
do I only seek the worst in you?
Jeremy can we talk a minute?
I’ve got some things
that I need to get off of my chest
I know that we’ve had a few
and it’s far too late
but if I wait I might never tell you
can’t we find somewhere quiet
let’s go outside
I’ve got some smokes if you’ve got a light
it’s just that sometimes when I’m by your side
it feels so right
it feels like nothing could go wrong
does it ever feel like that to you?
oh I don’t know what I mean
that sounded wrong
man I’m just high, I’m not being weird
I just mean that you’re a good friend
it’s hard to explain
just forget I said anything
oh get over yourself
I’m not in love with you
it just came out all wrong
yeah tell the guys
and laugh it up
why am I even surprised?
that it never feels like that to you
I guess it never feels like that to you
camera kisser fakes another smile
bends my ear so I stay awhile
oh I know this town can feel so small
I need to stretch my legs
find some big mistakes
find some big mistakes
dream maker takes another sip
starts a fire with her fingertips
head to toe I’m falling into light
oh it seems like truth
I could fall for you
I could fall for you
oh you’ve got the eyes of them all
when you’re just dancing on your own
she’s talking circles
start to feel her words
float on past without being heard
I’m awash poured out into night
I’ll keep my eyes holding onto hers
holding onto hers
oh you’ve got the eyes of them all
when you’re just dancing on your own
I light another so that I can breath
deep in the cracks when she finally leaves
Alexander all alone
smoking a cigarette
the last pack he’d ever buy
at least that’s what he said
he stood up to stretch his back
and fell down to the ground
Alexander all alone
til the neighbour caught a glimpse
cried out for his wife
to call the ambulance
Alexander all alone
felt them check his pulse
he heard them pronounce him dead
hell is found inside of me
and nothing else will set me free
if hell is found inside of me
then open me up and spill me out
Alexander wondered why
no life flashed before his eyes
why his soul did not depart
why he found no peace of mind
would it take a little while?
was it the same for everyone?
Alexander realized
that hell is found inside of me
and nothing else will set me free
if hell is found inside of me
then open me up and spill me out
Martha’s thin
and pretty just like you
I held her close
like I held you
Martha sways
and I follow suit
she fills my glass
and I toss it back
into the space that once held you
and dance dance to the radio
while the devil takes control
there’s a weight
holding me down
Martha says
it’s all in my head
I look at the lights
dancing in her eyes
I wanna die
dancing in her eyes
dance dance to the radio
while the devil takes control
Martha spins
and I catch her hand
she smiles and laughs
bringing me back
01. Hometown Hero
02. Drink My Rivers
03. I’m Not Falling Asleep
04. Covered in Dust
05. Wendell Walker
06. You’re Out Wasting Time
07. The Man On Stage
08. Jesus, She’s A Good Girl
09. Lick Your Wounds
10. Jerry Was A Clerk
11. My Dear Helen
The Bearer of Bad News was written and recorded by Andy Shauf.
Produced and engineered by Andy Shauf.
All instruments arranged and performed by Andy Shauf.
Avery Kissick – Drums (6)
Jonathan Anderson – Mix/master
01. Sam Jones
02. Sweet Victoria
03. Two Little Clouds
04. Feed My Demons
Andy Shauf played the instruments and wrote the songs.
Artwork by Meghan Fenske.
Design by Nicole Irene Dyck.
